Genudsendelse # 1

Denne her er fra min gamle hjemmeside. Jeg lavede den på engelsk, hjemmesiden, for at mine udenlandske venner kunne læse med. Den er skrevet en gang i en periode hvor jeg drak lidt for meget og kedede mig lidt for meget; altså i en helt almindelig sommerferie :o)
Som tidligere nævnt kan jeg virkelig ikke lidt køer... Derfor denne ;o)

The cow conspiracy

So many people think of cows as gentle and docile animals, but lots of people have been fooled by these intelligent, but evil creatures. By creating this page I know that I put myself and my loved ones in danger, but I see no other way. The cows must be stopped!!!

The Purpose of Cows

What are cows and why are they here? What purpose do they serve on Earth?

These are questions often asked, but very few people see the cows thrue face, and can therefore answer. Cows are here on earth because they were brought by aliens. Their only purpose is to destroy the Human race by winning the hearts of the people. After they have infiltrated the hearts of the people, they will release bioengineered viruses into the atmosphere to kill humans, then the Cow Liberation Army (CLA) will kill the rest of the humans.

EVIDENCE

I have evidence to support this claim. Read on.

• Cows often gather in groups- While in these groups, cows can plan their next move.

• Milk- In my studies, I have found milk to be an addictive and mind controlling substance. All those 'Got Milk?' signs have been posted by people being controlled by milk, or at least ingenious cows furthering their plans for world domination. The supposed affects of milk on the human body are also made up.

• India- In India, cows have worked their way into the political and religious systems, and are now considered sacred. Older cows roam freely and are publicly fed by common people. This provides a perfect opportunity to make plans. When the cow revolt starts, it will start in India.

• Cats- Cats drink milk, and are generally accepted as 'Cute' and 'Friendly'. This, though subconscious, automatically equates them with cows, which produce milk. This is how cows subconsciously work in the minds of people so that they accept cows on the same level of cats.

• The CIA ( Cow Intelligence Agency) & The Cow Bureau of Invistigation- What many people think is an agency formed to keep the civilians safe, is actually a base for all the top leaders of the cows. In their headquarters the conspiracy is masterminded.

• Cow Liberation Army- The CLA is the army of cows that will first free all captive cows (dairy farmers, watch your backs), and then kill the rest of the people not killed by their viruses. The CLA has underground bases around the world, and has amassed forces for over 30 years.

• Pamplona- The festival that takes place in Pamplona, Spain every year makes people feel sorry for the bulls. The festival, however, is arranged by the bulls themselves, and no bulls or cows are hurt during the fest. It is a great opportunity for the bulls to chase people down the street and hurt as many as possible.

• Cowpox- This was the cows first attempt at bioengineer viruses to kill humans . The cows made a mistake, though, and the virus became a cure for Smallpox.

• Mad Cow Disease- In the early 1990s, a disease called Mad Cow was discovered. Scientists quickly eradicated the disease (the cows had made another mistake, and the cows were adversely affected), but the cows had left their mark. This was the second attempt by the cows to try to kill humans using modern methods. Unfortunately, the governments of the affected regions decided to not disclose the Cows' plans to the public. The Cows will most defiantly try again, and next time no one will be safe.

WHAT CAN BE DONE TO STOP THIS THREAT

• Eat cow meat- Eating lots of cow meat can seriously reduce the cow population and thereby reduce the effectiveness of the cow's plans.

• Drink other kinds of milk- Goats milk and soy milk are some alternatives. By not drinking milk from cows, you will reduce their effect upon you.

• Use items made from cowhide- It helps kill cows, and dead cows don't Moo, so there's no adverse effect on you.

Cow tipping

Some people see this as a cruel thing to do, but again I must remind you people of the danger we are all in. By tipping the cow you will confuse the cow and by doing that you may delay their plan and the end of the world. Note. This page to not take responsibility for any tipping or cruelty to cows.

Tipping Tips

• Cow tipping works best on a hill- Why not let gravity help you?

• Make sure the creature you are tipping is indeed a COW- Bull tipping is not a good idea!

• Choose a dark night- It will easier be to approach the cow.

• Be quiet and check the wind direction- Approach your cow against the wind so that it is harder for it to smell you.

• Find a place with few cows- This increases the chances that all of the cows will be sleeping.

• Choose a good starting point- If you're lucky you'll achieve a domino-affect.